You’re Not Really HEARING me!

Everything a kid tells you is important. You may not think it’s important, but to that kid, at that moment, it’s the most important thing in their world.

We as adults have, over time, developed a filter called: “THE STUFF IMPORTANT TO ME” filter. And we react accordingly. If someone tells you something that is interesting to YOU – YOU naturally react with genuine interest. YOU react with attention. YOU react because you actually care.

But when someone tells you something that you have no interest in, you may try to react as though you care – because you don’t really want to offend the person trying to tell you something. But you’re not really listening, are you?

When that child walks up to you and shows you his loose tooth… this is a big deal – no wait! It’s a BIG DEAL! When she tells you that it was her birthday yesterday… it’s a BIG DEAL! When a kids tells you that his family is taking him on vacation to “Happy World”, it’s a BIG DEAL! When she explains that her dog is lost… it’s a BIG DEAL. When they point to their new shoes… it’s a BIG DEAL. Should I go on?

How many times have you had one of these experiences to only usher that child to his seat and tell him politely that he can tell you later? After all, it’s time to start class, right.

To a child, you may be the most important person in their life that needs to know this information. Your reaction will determine their significance at that very moment in THEIR WORLD.

Are you really listening?

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You might have assumed that this whole series of posts was going to be about how to prep and present a better children’s church.  And guess what? Later, I am going to discuss that very thing… but, later.

Before you can start the 5 minute countdown, make a grandiose announcement, send in a crazy character, start your Bible on fire, or eat donuts suspended from a rope, we need some kids to come thru the doors.  If the kids don’t show up, you’d be starting your Bible on fire for, well… nobody.

But what can you do to keep kids from getting bored from the moment they come into your ministry area?

Engage them!  Here are a few suggestions:

• Decor- Have your ministry room(s) decorated to reflect the theme of your ministry or the topic that you are teaching.  Whether you have the ability, permission and money to deck-out an area for kids or you have to set it up and tear it down; kids know when they are being welcomed and if you’ve prepared for them.  Banners, backdrops, balloons, props/scenery and murals will create an environment that kids will remember.
• Ambiance- Fun music that is upbeat and fun or anticipatory will help kids feel like this is the place just for them.  Light up the room(s) with different colors to help accent and compliment the look of the room.  Video clips that are familiar or interesting to kids will make a welcoming experience.  AND FOR GOODNESS SAKES – clean up the clutter, vacuum, adjust the temp and eliminate odor!
• Activities- When kids enter any new environment, their internal intensity changes.  Kids need an outlet for energy. So have some energy-outlet friendly stuff ready. Board games, twister, an art station, simple “carnival”-type games, long-jump contests, high-jump contests, follow the leader, quiz games, treasure/scavenger hunts, video games… Use your imagination.  I mean, look at it as if “nothing kid-friendly is off-limits”.
• Relational Interaction- Having the leaders in your areas who are initiating interaction will create a memory and set the temperature for an experience.  What do the leaders do?  Ask kid-related questions; about their clothes, school, shoes, movies, video games, toys, pets, vacation, friends, etc.  Having some conversation starters are important.  Read my post about “What I’ve Kept in my Pockets”  These little items will help leaders start conversations and create experiences.

Have I given you something to think about?  More later.

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It’s just the world we live in.  Kids are sucked into media-crazed stupors that they are stuck in.  They have the luxury of playing any video game they want, watch any movie on-demand they can access and visit with kids all over the world.  And when they show-up at church, they’re being told that Jesus is a mighty savior… but he keeps falling off of the felt-board.

Is the answer human felt-board presentations?  Maybe!

My question is: what do kids like that will engage them in what God’s Word says?

In this next blog series we will explore what kids like, don’t like and what we can do about it.

While I write some more, go pick up the little felt-Jesus off of the floor…

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Happy Anniversary Jennifer!

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However, here is a list of a few things that I don’t have to care about in ministry – if I don’t want to:

What are yours?

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This Easter Sunday, four young people gathered with me for a quick huddle and a prayer. Grins betrayed their excitement. Careful attentiveness revealed their serious desire to do their best as my ministry partners for one of our busiest ministry days of the year. As my early childhood children’s church team, they were about to minister alongside me to twenty-five wiggly 2 ½ year-olds through six year-olds. At ages 17, 16, 16, and 12 respectively, my team members have long since passed their wiggly years. But for three of them who grew up in this church, I remember those days clearly. I remember their stories and growing pains. And now they all are my colleagues.

The twelve year-old is our budding Bible teacher. The others are eager to do what ever needs to be done to love these kids with Jesus’ love. I am proud of this emerging generation which is so passionate to make a difference despite the challenges of their own upbringing. Some pundits cite a trend of entitlement and laziness. I see a remnant of young godly saints rising up as a prophetic voice to their own generation, as well as to their parents’ generation and those yet to come. Through their actions they are calling on their peers to follow Jesus along with them. Their passion to heed the gospel inspires me to join with them, wherever Jesus may lead.

What stories of how God is moving among young people might be developing in your worship community? What part might you play in encouraging them to engage fully in God’s purposes for their lives?

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Ask kids their opinion

I don’t care how or where – just meet with kids for 10 – 30 second and ask their opinion about current trends, fads, and especially your ministry and programs.  And BTW: get ready to have your bubble popped.

Ask your leaders what they are seeing

If your leaders are parents, consumers, TV watchers, surf the internet, have a job, leave their homes, have neighbors, go shopping or do life – they have a valuable opinion and observations that will be different than yours.  They key there is “different” than yours.  Don’t be offended when they don’t agree or have a different opinion.

Go on a field trip and take a camera

Too many pastors/church leaders rarely leave the four walls of their offices to see the world around them.  Hit the local toy stores, video game shops, activity centers, kid-friendly stores and places where kids party.  Take a camera, notepad and a few others with cameras and notepads.

Kid-Friendly Media

Kids watch a lot of TV – go to Kid-friendly channels and watch what these kids watch.  Go to the Kid-Friendly websites and surf what they surf. A little research will tell you what these kids listen to – download it. Find out the latest in books and magazines – read ‘em!

Networking with other #KidMin leaders

Twitter, Facebook, CMConnect.org, Kidology.org, local groups, and face to face/one on one meetings are invaluable!  I’ve said it before:  Get with the leaders of the churches that are the next level size so you can learn what it takes to get there… look to the churches that are about the same size so you can trade ideas that might be more “easily adaptable”… And (ready for this?) Look to the churches that are smaller than yours so you can see the drive, hunger and innovation they have to get to where you’re at now.

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You can get to the online bookstore here – thanks for your support!

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So, my questions to the many #KidMin peeps that are out there that peruse this blog are these:

What if every #KidMin Leader was like me?  What would the entire world of Children’s Ministry look like?

What if every #KidMin Leader taught the Word like me?  Would kids all over the world be learning the Word and walk away from childhood knowing how to apply it?  Or, would they know a lot of games and understand the importance of candy incentives?

What if every #KidMin Leader taught on praise and worship like me?  Would the power of God overcome as kids entered into the very presence of an almighty God? Or, would they know a lot of actions and fun lyrics?

What if every #KidMin Leader Lead like me?  Would there be armies of volunteers that are equipped as leaders to take these kids to the next level? Or, would there be a world full of burned-out one-man shows?

What if every #KidMin Leader prayed like me?  Would kids and the many CM leaders in your ministry know that they are covered in prayer and follow your lead? Or, would you constantly feel defeated and your team sense that there is no hope?

What if every #KidMin Leader taught stewardship like me?  Would we have a generation of kids that understands the value of the tithe, faith-filled giving and generosity so we could advance the Kingdom? Or would you have a world of kids who expect to know what’s in it for them?

What if every #KidMin Leader taught on missions like me?  Would you have fervent prayers for missionaries and a lifelong, infused sense that those on the field need support in every way – would there be future missionaries? Or, would kids never know what it takes to reach others just like them in places where the gospel needs to be preached?

Please don’t think that I am above giving away prizes as incentives, or that I hate fun lyrics and engaging actions, because, I do that stuff!  Please don’t assume that I don’t like to have a good time with kids in my church - read the post on how kids interpret their world… I’m simply advocating that we go a step further – no, several steps further. Realize that ministry to kids happens now so we can secure the future of the church.  Go ahead and add to the list if you care… but continue to ask yourself: What if the #KidMin Leaders, all over the world were just like me?

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