Article - The Need To Be Needed by Jamie Doyle

By Jamie Doyle

It was Sunday Morning and I was standing outside the doorway of my children's church room. I still had 15 minutes until Sunday School was to let out and all the children to come running frantically down the hallway for our morning kids' service. As I was greeting people and arranging and rearranging the supplies on the sign-up table, a tap was felt on my shoulder. I turned to look into the frustrated face of a third grade Sunday School teacher. She was almost in tears and looked as if she was about to turn in her resignation as she held the hand of the notorious troublemaker, who we will call Dustin.

Dustin was known in our church for frustrating and destroying the patients of many - a - children's worker. When teachers would see Dustin entering their classrooms, they drop to their knees and pray for deliverance… including me. Dustin came from a very difficult home-life - dad was in jail, mom worked most of the time and never spent any time with her kids so, Dustin's Aunt had to bring him to church. Every Sunday that Dustin attended my children's church service, he brought with him an incident waiting to happen - name calling, swearing, rude gestures, hitting, fighting, biting… you name it, he did it. He could never stay focused on the lesson or any activity that we engaged in. I don't think that Dustin ever really got to see the end of a Children's Church service. We were constantly sending him back to his aunt. I even suspended him once for a few Sundays.

But this Sunday was about to change Dustin's life as well as mine. I inquired as to what the situation was this time. I was told that Dustin punched another boy in the class who took Dustin's paper. I looked apologetically at the teacher and instructed Dustin to stand by the double doors that led into the Children's Church room. I sent her back to her class assuring her that I would take care of the problem. I was about to explode on the inside as I made my way toward Dustin. I calmed myself as I spoke. He was uncooperative in responding to me in the way I desired. He told me that he would not come to children's church that morning if that boy were in the room too. "After all," he complained, "he started it!" I tried as hard as I could to reason with this nine-year-old as to why he should come to children's church that morning, but the boy wouldn't budge.

Finally, after giving it my best shot, I dropped my head and gave up hope in trying to rectify the situation. All I could do is think to myself how hard it was going to be to try and explain all of this to his aunt after all the other times of having to explain. Just then, I felt a still small voice deep inside of me say, "But you don't understand. I need you in there." I looked up and realized that in turn, I had said it out loud. Suddenly, the lines on Dustin's face changed from defiance to inquisitiveness. He looked me square in the eye and said, "you need me?" I felt myself say, "yes."

"Why do you need me in there?" To be honest, I didn't know why I needed Dustin in there, but I heard myself say, "if you're not in there, who's going to turn the lights off and on when it's time for worship and the video clip?" He looked at me and said, "I don't know." So, not knowing what the results would be, I brought Dustin into the Children's Church room where the light switch for the front half of the room was located. It was on a sidewall, half-way to the front of the room. I put a chair there and told Dustin to sit there and pay attention during the entire service so I could give him the signal as to when to hit the lights on or off for the different segments. He whole-heartily agreed to do it.

As soon as Children's Church began until the last prayer was said and the kids were dismissed, Dustin never missed a beat. He paid attention the entire service and even participated in the songs and prayer times. I put him on those lights every week that he was with us until I left that church and made arrangements with my staff to keep him there as long as he was in attendance. And to be honest, I did have a hard time replacing him when he was absent.

The answer that I was looking for I found. A place that Dustin could fit into… a place where he felt needed. As soon as we found that place, I rarely had another problem with him. We even got to see Dustin grow in his walk with God. Isn't that the what all children are looking for… a place to feel needed. Since that Sunday morning, I have worked hard to help each boy and girl find a place where they could fit and feel needed, and we've reaped the benefits for our efforts.

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